hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
