wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
