can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just blew my weed a kiss
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
