If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
