please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
