ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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