I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Drunk is not a location!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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