i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
