I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
