Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
