Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
