He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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