i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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