My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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