We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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