I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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