I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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