After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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