You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
