i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
