He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so let's talk penis.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
