She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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