The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
zippers are such a cool invention
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
