The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize