I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
