Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
