I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
