Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
