i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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