We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize