Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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