Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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