Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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