Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
