What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
