i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize