So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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