I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
