please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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