I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
