apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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