Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
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