Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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