we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
try to milk me bitch
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
