do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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