i just google imaged poop.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
