areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
