Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
