I want to stick my p in your. b.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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