So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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