But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
