you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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