So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm having to shit out rocks
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
