Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
These tits shall not be calmed
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
