My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
