I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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