If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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