i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
