Its about making memories worth repressing
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
