She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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